Stoicism: Its First and Greatest Principle
Stoicism is everywhere these days, or so it seems. There is over a dozen books and probably hundreds of articles on the philosophy floating around. With that quantity, I wondered if there was any more to be said on the subject, or if I was the one to say it.
The competition seems fierce, after all, and who am I? An author and philosopher, one of many who’s taken to Substack, it seems, in this latest guise of branding myself The Clarity Factory.
But I’ve noticed, many articles on the subject are long and involved. How many people are going to master ‘22 Stoic principles for 1922’ without getting overwhelmed? (That’s not an actual title, I just made it up — but there are actual titles along those lines.)
After all, living Stoically is not as easy as it looks on paper.
Popular though the idea is, I don’t see it practiced very much.
Most writers in major media are not doing it. (“Did you hear what Trump said yesterday???” “Look at all those Cov-Idiot antivaxxers!!!”)
I wonder what such writers take to control their blood pressure.
There are better ways of living, and better ways of getting ideas out on the table.
What I decided: write not about politics but philosophy that will lower your blood pressure if you use it right.
That philosophy is Stoicism.
And to write not about “22 principles” when one will do. At first, anyway.
What’s the Big Idea, the First and Greatest Principle, that stands at the heart of Stoicism? Which, if you don’t absorb it, the rest of the philosophy won’t matter because it won’t serve you.
Epictetus put it best, at the very beginning of his Enchiridion (Manual):
“There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs.”
Stoicism is easy to misunderstand. Many folks see it as unemotional, indifferent, lacking in empathy. They think it just accepts harm and injustices. It is — and does — none of these things. Maybe the sheer volume of writings on Stoicism, books out in the marketplace as well as treatises on Medium, are dispelling some of these myths.
What he’s getting at is just this:
There are things you can control with self-discipline, and there are things even the greatest self-discipline won’t let you control — but you can control your response to those things.
Let me illustrate this with an example.
A number of years ago, I was in a restaurant with some friends. It was Sunday evening. We often gathered at this place for soup, salad, sandwiches, and casual conversation. Kind of a shared habit, a bookend of sorts for our weekend.
The restaurant was on a long side street in an old neighborhood. Cars parked on an angle along the street.
Shortly after dark, word came of an auto accident right outside.
One of the parked cars had been creamed along its left side by someone who claimed he fell asleep at the wheel. Several other vehicles were damaged.
Guess whose car got creamed.
You got it.
It was only a year old!
I could have gotten mad. I could have panicked.
But at some level — I wasn’t thinking Stoicism at the moment — it dawned on me that such reactions, especially in a public place, wouldn’t accomplish anything except making me look bad.
It wouldn’t have harmed the other driver, who was standing on the sidewalk with his girlfriend looking terrified. (We were a motley crew in those days!)
So I kept my head as I surveyed the damage. The police arrived. I did the paperwork, let them make their report, obtained information on where to have the car towed, got a name and phone number.
With all that was done, I arranged a ride to my apartment with one of the couples I’d met up with. The woman — her name was Cynthia — told me how amazed she was that I kept my cool the whole time.
“I’d have totally lost it,” she told me.
I answered just by asking if that would have fixed my car.
She laughed at the obviousness of the answer.
Sometimes I think I became a Stoic that night.
You can’t control the weather. So why complain when it rains, or gets cold?
You can’t control a lot of what happens to you. But you can control how you react to it.
Your reaction can be emotional and immediate: “losing it.”
“Damn it’s cold!! I hate fricking cold weather!!”
What did that accomplish? Maybe the outburst gave you an adrenalin rush. But are you any warmer?
Compare that to dressing in layers.
Or packing rain gear if it looks like it might rain and you have to go out but don’t want to be caught in it.
This means listening to that quiet, inner voice that tells you, “losing it” will accomplish nothing. It counsels you to focus instead on you can do, which is assess any situation, collect the information you need, and go from there.
This works for problems large and small.
You can control your emotions, and to some extent, your opinions.
In particular, you can control when you express an opinion and when you hold back.
Suppose you think your boss is an idiot. Maybe you’re right.
You need the job, though. So it’s best not to express that opinion.
What you can control: whether you stay, or join the Great Resignation. You’ve assessed the situation, collected the information you need, and decided that your mission and core values will be better served by your being elsewhere.
Now you can call your former boss an idiot without being fired.
Though that still might not be the best plan.
Is anything gained by criticizing others — strangers who aren’t behaving in ways you approve of, coworkers whose politics is different than yours, superiors, anybody — even when you’re sure you are right?
You can determine this, often straightaway. And then act accordingly — or not.
These are the sorts of things unlocked by probing Epictetus’s statement above.
None of us can control the emotions and opinions of others, but we can control our own thoughts and emotions. None of us can control the desires and goals and motivations of others, but we can establish our own goals and work to pursue them.
You can’t control the occasional cold or other sickness that comes your way. But you can reduce your risk of getting a cold — or, these days, something worse — with basic cleanliness, a healthy diet, an exercise regimen, vitamins, and by getting enough sleep.
Not every auto accident is preventable. But defensive driving will again reduce your risk.
And if somebody creams your car in a parking lot —
Well, that’s hardly your fault, but you’re still the one who has to deal with it.
If you deal with it badly, emotionally, then that is your fault.
There’s a lot more to Stoicism, but coming to grips with the difference between what you can control and what you can’t is the best place to start.
This doesn’t mean being unemotional. It doesn’t mean never expressing anger. It doesn’t mean not criticizing injustice. It doesn’t mean never expressing an unpopular opinion.
It means navigating your way through life from a position of personal empowerment. Always ask, if you are not the one controlling your responses to your environment, then who or what is? If you’re not in control, then you’re out of control. And while it’s a matter of degree, anyone out of control is a danger to both himself/herself and to others.
That’s why the First and Greatest Stoic Principle matters!
Oh (maybe you’re wondering), what happened to the car?
Although I had to drive a rental for several weeks, it got fixed. The side got rebuilt. When it got it back, it looked as good as new. The engine had not been damaged. It ran just fine. The other guy’s insurance covered the whole thing.